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Carmelo and La La Anthony

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LaLa and Carmelo started dating in 2003 after being introduced by New York’s DJ Clue.

She was born in Brooklyn, like her husband, but raised in New Jersey and Atlanta. On this afternoon in May, she was looking feminine and tough in a Topshop blazer, cargo pants and Christian Louboutin Daffodil pumps.

She narrowed her eyes, recounting the story of how Mr. Anthony first tried to woo her in a New York club, sending over a bottle of Moët & Chandon. “I thought it was so lame,” she said. “He was like, ‘What are you doing after the club?’ I’m like: ‘After the club? It’s 2 a.m. I’m going home. What are you doing after the club?’ ”

Mrs. Anthony has learned, she said, not to express herself too frankly, or to cheer too loudly at other teams’ arenas. The tricky part is doing that without losing the spark that makes her La La.

“A lot of times with basketball players, their wives, and I’m not criticizing, but their life is just about the man,” she said, mostly ignoring four mini lobster rolls. “What time is he getting home, why hasn’t he called me?”

“But I’m so much more than” that, she said. “I’m a mom, I’m an actress, I’m a producer. Like, out of all that, I don’t want to just be called a basketball wife.” Hence, her refusal to appear alongside Shaunie O’Neal and Evelyn Lozada on the VH1 show “Basketball Wives,” she said.

“What I see in Will Smith and Jada Pinkett,” she said, returning to her role models, “is having your own, and I tell everyone that.”

Mr. Anthony isn’t so sure.

“Will and Jada have a tremendous relationship,” he said. “Jay-Z and Beyoncé have a tremendous relationship, Swizz Beatz and Alicia Keys, they’re a couple we see that inspire us.

“But we want to be ourselves. We want people to say, ‘We want our relationship to be like Melo and La La.’ ”

In 2004 La La became engaged to basketball player Carmelo Anthony and they were married by Michael Eric Dyson on July 10, 2010 at Cipriani's in New York before 320 guests. The ceremony was filmed by VH1 and aired as part of a reality series on the couple, titled "La La's Full Court Wedding." La La and Carmelo Anthony's son, Kiyan Carmelo Anthony, was born on March 7, 2007.

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